That Would Be Capitol

“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.”
- Andre Gide

Our story begins in the middle. A Toyota LandCruiser lies mired in the mud along the pristine banks of a remote reservoir far from the reach of any tow truck. But how did it get here? Where is “here”?

Just off Horsely Mill Rd close enough to the Alabama border that you can almost hear banjos is this red dirt trail.

And at the trail’s end: The reservoir.

It draws LandCruisers to it like a woolly mammoth to a tar pit. The lure of a photo opportunity is irresistible. That little white line you see next to the Cruiser is Craig. He’s directing Tone as he attempts to drive the LandCruiser back out of the lake. We had reached the end of the trail here at the water’s edge. Johnney and I had made our way back up the hill after a fun but relatively uneventful trip down.

That trip ended with this photo op. The weather was nice, though very hot, the reservoir was empty except for one boat, and the vehicles were lined up perfectly for a magazine-style photo shoot.

Getting there had involved climbing and descending several steep hills and lots of ruts. At one point we crossed a small creek. The trail was dry enough that nobody had any trouble with traction.

For example here’s one of the better hills to descend.

At the top of each hill, I mean at the summit,… at each peak we would let the vehicles graze while we discussed the finer points of the climb.

Here Craig is spotting Tone’s every move to ensure that he properly and safely traverses this pit. This job is highly technical and requires an astute attention to detail, as you can see.

On the other side of the pit Johnney checks the angle with a protractor, or maybe just by eyeballing it, to guarantee a successful climb.

Another victorious climb. Is there anything the LandCruiser can’t drive through? A lake, for instance?

Johnney easily climbs up and over.

Posing somewhere along the trail.

The last descent of the LandCruiser.

Which brings us back to our photo opportunity. After this pic was taken Tone dipped the LandCruisers tail end into the lake where it would remain for the better part of the next two hours.

Johnney and I head out.

When we get to the top we see that Tone hasn’t moved since we left and Craig is outside the vehicle. What could possible be wrong?

First we tried the winch but in the struggle to free the Cruiser it had dug itself in to the point its frame rested on the ground. Reeling in the winch cable only pulled the Jeep closer to the Cruiser.

We hooked one tow strap to my Jeep and tried pulling but that wasn’t working either. Meanwhile Craig and Johnney were collecting rocks and digging in the mud to put the rocks under the tires for better traction… as in any traction. Then we brough Johnney’s Jeep back down and hooked both of them up to the Cruiser. Still no luck. It was like pulling 5000lbs of dentures from the mouth of Disaster. Fortunately Tone had a high lift jack so he lifted the rear of the Cruiser and we put a bunch of rocks under the tires. After a little more tugging…

The Cruiser breaks free from the clutches of the lake.

The hi-lift jack. A good thing to have on hand. Along with a shovel… ALONG WITH A SHOVEL. A SHOVEL.

We got the Cruiser out just in time. Here’s Johnney traversing a creek as night falls. It was late but we wouldn’t have left the Cruiser there. Jeep has a motto: Never leave a Land behind.